Jeremy Clarkson Would Have a Field-Day

So, I'm told that Malawians think that we talk funny. All nasally and honky, like the way Americans sound to us. A few times I've had young boys follow me down the street saying 'hiiii' (imagine saying it really high pitched and through your nose). This has made me really self concious and now catch myself saying 'hi' to friends, then try and change my tack to a deep, 'hello' (which just sounds a bit creepy so I have to stop).

This is the only insight I have managed to obtain into what Malawians think of us. If there is a wider sterotype (and I'm sure there must be) everyone is too polite to say anything. I have, however, learnt that Malawians from the south think those from the north are all into witchcraft and those in the north think people in the south are totally greedy and out for themselves. Everyone thinks that those in the middle are kind of gross and will eat anything that stays still for long enough – something to which the mouse kebabs on sale by the road would seem to bear witness. I've also learnt that Tanzanians are reputed to be very aggressive and Zimbabweans very resiliant (!).

All this made me think of Jeremy Clarkson and the classic sterotypes we Europeans apply to each other. But then it also made me think of what I've heard some of the westerners here say about Malawians. There is often an assumption that anything done by a westerner will automatically be better and that, somehow, we need to 'teach' them how to be efficient.

Hummm....I don't know. It is true that English documents will, generally, be better written by a westerner, but that is obvious. I wonder whether its more the case that our notions of efficiency don't quite fit here. For example, Phiri hasn't been using his bike for work much lately. He also hasn't been well and has been leaving for home earlier and earlier. Now, he seems to be responsible for many people, not just his family. So perhaps it is more efficient for him to lend his bike to his neighbour's cousin and take longer to walk to / from work than it is to get to work quicker but leave the bike unused all day. Or, perhaps he is renting the bike out and using the money to get the bus to work, which would be a very western use of capital as far as I can see.

I don't know. There is an inordinate amount of signing and stamping and giving receipts in triplicate. But then, there are no call centres. There's something to celebrate.

F x