Going Home

Last blog from Malawi and I'm not really sure what to write. I've been trying to think of some neat way to sum up all my feelings and experiences, to conclude the blog.

But I can't. I don't think this is the end of us and Malawi (and won't be the end of the blog) so I'm just going to write about what I can see and hear now and hope that I remember it clearly in years to come.

The evening sun is getting low and beginning to make me squint. Ants are crawling all over my feet and I've just been handed some ropey wine in a dirty glass. A is next to me reading his car magazines and I can hear some gospel singing over the noise of at least 5 different languages (including unreasonably loud American English) chattering here, round the pool in a Lilongwe hotel.

I feel happy, lucky, satisfied and ready to go home.

F x

Climb Every Mountain

Here's a little nugget of self-awareness I've learnt this year: I'm no mountaineer.

Actually, I already knew that (some of you may remember the Ben Lomond incident) but I thought I couldn't get on the plane without having tried it all. Given it my all. Left no stone unturned. Pushed myself.

So I did. I agreed to climb 2,000m to the Mulange Plateaux. I knew it would be tough physically and it was, but I managed (just). But it was my fear that was the biggest problem. I don't like heights. I hadn't realised how much I don't like heights until I was nearly vomiting with fear having walked across a slippery waterfall 1m from the precipice. I knew my reaction wasn't normal when I looked up and saw my friends happily posing for photos on the other side.

A cajoled me the rest of the way and the views from the top were superb. The rats, the drop toilet and the shower (a room with a bucket) not so lovely. But fabulous evening with pals, sausages and marshmallows.

The way down was worse. I'd been awake half the night worrying about it, listening to the rain and wondering how full the rivers and waterfalls would now be. Very, it turns out. A didn't leave my side and our pal Arjan, who could see the tension in my jaw, was a trooper, walking behind me, grabbing and heaving as necessary.

I spent most of the decent on my bum, sliding and slipping over the rocks. I got back across the waterfall (now a raging torrent, I exaggerate not) very inelegantly clinging to the rocks, shaking my head and being heaved out of the water. A then pointed out that I had ripped my trousers and my backside was 'hingin oot'. I cared not a jot. That's how much I was consumed with getting down in one piece. "Everyone can stare at my grazed bum all they want, so long as I get off this bloody mountain" were, I believe, my exact words.

It was my first real case of one step at a time, don't think about it, mind over matter. People do this for fun at the weekends, it's really not that bad but for me it was a big deal. I see it as this year in miniature, breathing, keeping calm, carrying on, relying on others.

And now I'm back. I can barely walk and still want to cry when I think about it, but I did it. There, done.

F x

Things I Will Not Miss

Are:

• The spiders (naturally)
• The occasional waft of B.O, the smell of the dried fish in the shops and the smell of the cheese plants in the garden
• Taking anti-malaria medication
• Living behind bars
• The driving (awful, truly awful - we've even seen a massive articulated lorry holding on the biting point in reverse on a hill down to a roundabout because it had no breaks - genius but terrifying)
• The pedestrians
• The hut

F x

Things I Will Miss

Are:

• The people
• The sunshine and sun-sets
• The fruit and veg (though am looking forward to proper sized peppers, carrots, onions and potatoes - fiddly wee muddy things are annoying to prepare)
• The free time
• The hut

F x

Further Goodbyes

It is all I'm doing right now and really mixed feelings about the whole thing.

I've grown 'rather fond' of Malawi and our life here and it feels strange to think that in just over a week I'll be back where I belong - wonder if all of this will seem like a dream?

Very excited about being home again (and sure this is the right move). Just hoping we stay healthy and safe over the next 10 days and then this whole thing will have been wholly good.

Fingers crossed
F x

Things I would do to make Malawi better off

Are (in no particular order):

• Make sure people aren't hungry, have clean water and soap;
• Make sure all children are taught to read, write and think critically about things;
• Conduct a massive civic anti-corruption campaign, with the help of the Churches, progressively increase civil servants' pay, criminally prosecute more and more instances of it and heavily publisce all guilty verdicts;
• Import some lions, reduce airfares and do some serious tourism promotion;
• Build good train and road links to ports in Mozambique and Tanzania (the roads in Malawi are actually relatively good);
• Pick one of the regional trade blocks, leave the others and throw a lot of resources at selling stuff to its neighbours;
• Build irrigation systems and put the management of the water and energy companies under some serious performance related pay measures;
• Slash (maybe abolish) agricultural subsidies in the developed countries;
• Use farmer co-operatives to increase agricultural production; and
• Make court judgements enforceable against the state.

Most of which are, to some extent, already underway.

F x

PS - am wondering what the answer to the same question for the UK would be......

Reasons why Malawi is still so poor

Are, I think, (in no particular order):

• Envy, which causes a lot of destruction;
• Corruption, which undermines systems;
• Colonialism, which has either created or accentuated a culture where individuals are discouraged from taking decisions, which causes stagnation and delay;
• Self-interest (of some donors), who are only just beginning to co-ordinate their efforts, rarely stay for more than a few years and frequently make aid conditional on the introduction of systems and ideologies that don't fit here, which wastes a lot of energy and resources;
• Greed (of some in power), which the greedy part of me understands, but which causes some shocking inefficiencies and inequalities;
• Hypocrisy, which means that notions of 'international free trade' are just a joke and it is a constant up-hill struggle for Malawi to sell things and prosper.

F x

Please read this book

'Fearless Fighter' Vera Chirwa's autobiography.

She was the first Malawian woman lawyer (or first in Southern Africa, maybe both), campaigned for independence, campaigned for democracy and, together with her husband, spent may years in jail under Dr. Banda's (the Malawian dictator's) regime.

I don't think I agree with all of her politics but can not recommend this book enough. Particularly for the clear overview it gives of Malawi's political history and for the convincing conclusions she reaches about why Malawi is still so poor.....

F x

Just This Once

I'm going to break my own rule and mention my work: I'm dead chuffed with the report I've just handed to the Judiciary. Team of 4 of us did its strategic review, assessed progress, areas for improvement and drew up a list of things they could do. A says giving people 'to-do lists' is my natural talent. I've enjoyed the past 10 weeks and hope that is true. There is a lot that can be done but things can change.
F x

Giraffes are cool (and the low ride even goes on safari!)

:-)

We Love Norman Carr

Fantastic lodge place at the lake. We went with a bunch of pals for the Easter weekend and were very happy eating, drinking and sleeping.

In particular, see pic of sundowners in the lake - life jacket round your bum and legs like a little seat and happily bob away with a G&T in the lake. Must be the peak of human endeavour - seriously!

Happy, happy days.

F x

One Year On

Saturday was exactly one year since I arrived in Malawi - and what a year!

You've read a lot about it and are probably better placed than me to notice any changes in mood and attitude. But even I can tell that things seem very different now to me than they did 365 days ago.

Things I have learnt include:

• Change can be good;
• It's important to trust your instincts; and
• Spiders are always evil (a year on, they still make me cry).

But most of all - it's the people that make a place. Scotland or Malawi, if you're not with the people you love (or really can't love the ones you're with) then you're wasting your precious time.

We've been lucky. The people here have made our year.

F x

PS - we celebrated one year and started our good-byes by splashing out on 'the' proper swanky restaurant in town (so the photo was actually taken in Malawi!)

Malora

Finally managed to drag A to the cinema on Fri night (yup, there is a cinema here but A has irrational aversion to 'loosing' his evenings to it).

A bunch of us went to see Avatar, though naturally not in the fancy 3D format. I thought it was brilliant! Granted, I haven't been to the cinema in a loooong time so the pretty pictures were rather hypnotic and, granted, the plot wasn't groundbreaking, but it is a really beautiful film.

If you are wondering what Malawi looks like, it's that, but less glow in the dark. Massive plants, huge cliffs, waterfalls, strange colours and lots of biting animals. All there, here, in Malawi.

And, actually, we did see a glow worm in the garden the other night!

F x

Ps - sorry I've not been blogging much. In the middle of my final fling with work. Like everything, interesting but very challenging!
Speak soon
F x

Some pics of the hoaching garden

Stop the Press

Steers (SA Burger King type outfit) has come to town - we now have a fast food outlet - check, us, out!

I can report that the burgers and chips are just what you would expect - fast food is crap the world over. But, Malawi is now officially on the map - woo hoo!

Raining a lot. Nothing much else happening.

F x

Here's some other random stuff that's been going on:

- Still very hot and very wet. Slugs abound. A says our cooling, stand-alone fan is "the best thing that every happened to him...except me...because I bought the fan."

- The low ride has been in the wars. Davina reversed into it, separately we had to get the clutch replaced and for the first time ever it wouldn't start whilst we were in LLW. A abandoned me for some big important meeting but, to my universal credit, I fiddled about with the engine until it started! (Me and a random Malawian dude who had wandered over to see what was going on).

- I'm getting very tired of living in a hut. So tired, I took one look at the place A had booked for us Fri night and walked out again. "I'm simply not staying there, I don't care if we drive through the night" says I. So, we got the credit card out and checked into a 007 style hotel of neat paths and gardens with a whitewashed private chalet over-looking the lake. We loved it - hunkered down in thunder storm with proper crisp sheets, bath, TV & room service - B.L.I.S.S.

- We've given up booze for lent. Seriously, we have.

F x

"You don't need to pay, this is a Government bus!"

Perfect little cameo of how things seem strange and broken but often turn out alright: I finished my meetings on Capital Hill (home of various government ministries that overlooks shiny, shiny, new, Chinese built and funded, parliament building) early. It would be a while before A could collect me, I needed to get a taxi back into town.

Asking the security guards for a taxi number initiated a universe of fussing about. Five men standing outside gesticulating and debating various options. Regretting causing such a furore, I tried to excuse myself, said it was no problem, if there were no taxis I would happily wait for my husband.

20 mins later, slightly out of breath man comes up and says "the transport is ready, come with me". Gulp. 'I don't want to offend someone who has gone out of their way to get a mate to help me, but I also don't want to get into a random car with a stranger...what to do???' I thought, as I struggled to keep up over potholes and puddles, uncomfortable in my now unfamiliar suit and heals.

To my relief he proudly pointed to a smart looking coach. "Get on, they will take you, this is a government bus, it goes far far but will drop you at city. No pay, this is a government bus". He beamed.

And sure enough, another 20 mins of being stared at by the everyday bus goers, listening to universally recognisable post work banter and wondering whether I too should buy some cassava, and we were off.

Another 15 mins after that and I was sitting sipping a cool lemonade in a proper swanky hotel. All's well that ends in a comfy chair.

Fx

Ps - Think I might have made the wrong snap decision in not standing for the Justice Minister as he walked past me in reception....what would you have done?

Going to see the Chesi Nuns

Is, according to A, a bit like going to see the elves. True enough, we were in LLW last week for work a spot of hob-nobbing at the British High-Commission (check us out!) and took the chance to visit these small, powerful, women.

Out east of LLW, towards Salima on the lakeshore, they run an orphanage. What an orphange. There are five fully fledged nuns, a trainee one, 120 children and a scattering of local mothers and teachers. Their set up is incredible. Almost entirely food-sufficient, the classrooms and bedrooms are warm and clean and painted in the loveliest colours. The children get 4 meals a day and you can tell - actual naughtiness on display, the place is full of life and laughter.

It is such a contrast to the other schools that we have visited. All of which are much better than they would be but for MM, but which are government funded, overcrowded, bare and ramshackle.

The Chesi nuns are, in fact, so good at what they do it raises all sorts of problems. Problems with the mothers who often try to pass their children off as orphans to get them in and for the children when they are grown up, trying to readjust to life on the outside.

We were made to feel extraordinarily welcome but I couldn't help feeling a bit disconcerted by the contrasts and my mounting questions about what the best way to help is. In the end I'm glad that place is there - it is a cracking example of what is possible, albeit with extraordinarily levels of money, effort and sacrifice. It is also probably as near as you will get on earth to meeting magical elves.

Fx

Ps - they need soap. Expensive here. Sussing out best way to post to them....

(Some of) the Suewdi family, the guava tree, doocot & their namless goat!

New shelter

Andrew the Chief?

Our mate Florian & his brother, a Priest, took us out to visit their home village yesterday. Grand Day Out - high blue skies, good natured banter, pizza & beer - what more could you want?

They have a lovely home & we met his ancient mother sitting under a mango tree. Learnt about his sister's tobacco growing / trading enterprise and got A to climb the guava tree so that we could take some yummy yummy fruit home.

Florian & his brother each support projects in neighbouring villages to feed the very little ones / provide some relief to the mothers. They are clearly the 'bwanas' round here, every time I turned around some new relative was tapping them for cash.

This is how it seems to work - one of the boys of the village does good, gets a job and is then responsible for nearly everybody else. Florian is the eldest of the Chieftain family and should have been a Chief himself. But he and his lovely wife Mary wanted their children to grow up in the city, so he declined it and passed it over to his uncle.

A has offered to take up the Chieftainship when F's uncle dies :-) Love it, bwana Andrew & donna Fiona, can you imagine?!

F x

PS - shelter in photo was paid for by Enrico's fundraising back home - the spirit of the Swiss specials drinker lives on!

Some maize (should be about 50% bigger by now!)

The Pineapples are Here

I've been waiting for this since the day I arrived - pineapple season has started! Hurray! They are sweet and delicious but sadly they are hoaching with teeny tiny flies like the ones you get off Christmas trees.

Still don't care. Love them and the fact that they overlap with the end of the mango season and the coincide with the start of the passion fruit. Awesome fruit salads!

This is taking me back to the beginning. Pineapples had just ended and passion fruit were in full swing when I first arrived. It's been brilliant fun enjoying the utterly delicious fruit and veg and wondering what comes next.

I should have kept a note, but from memory, the rough order (Jan-Dec) goes something like:

Pineapples, passion fruit, avocados, sugarcane, oranges, aubergine, paw paw, green beans, peas, cauliflower, mushrooms, pumpkin, mangoes.

Tomatoes, onions, spinach, bananas, green peppers, carrots, sweet potato & courgette seem to have been constant.

Yum yum yum.
F x

The Weather Has Broken

Finally, it really is like the release of pressure you imagine. Breaking the dam, lancing the boil, whatever, we can all breath again.

It started Thursday last week about home time when deep dark silver grey clouds gathered over the city and the wind got very strong. Imagine palm trees bending sideways and the brooding atmosphere of those American tornado movies. (We were even trying to work out whether we'd be safer in the car or on the street....answers on a postcard...)

The following day there was actually a calm and then on Saturday, wow, a proper tropical storm. Thunder, lightening, dark at noon, more rain than I have ever seen, ever. Impressively the veg lady still made it up the hill & seemed pleased to hide out in the car port for a while.

Now the temperature is a very pleasant 25 degrees. The tap water is cloudy, the power keeps cutting out and most of the food in the kitchen is being attacked by various weevils, maggots and beetles. But I don't care, I'm happy and by the sound of the drums from the other side of the wall, so is Malawi.

F x

The Best Laid Schemes

Friday night was the Caledonian Society's annual Burns Night and we had a ball. A was asked to read a poem; he chose 'To a Moose'. As he said, this was for two reasons: 1) because it is one of the best poems ever written and beautiful example of Rab's humanity and 2) because it is amusing to think that if Rabbie had been Malawian it would have been very different. Probably something along the lines of "Get it, get it, get it! There's good eating on that!"

Fitting for us too at the moment. For reasons totally beyond our control, our grand plan may need to be revisited. Nothing too serious, all will be well, but we're living the frustration of uselessness. Me because I feel that there is very little I can actually, practically, do in (& for) Malawi. A because he's been working on a great idea for a new project and, well, sometimes people just say no.

So, we got our glad rags on, joined up with some new medic friends who have almost identical frustrations and had a party. I don't know if there was tequila in 18th century Scotland but I'm sure that if there was, Rabbie would have been well into it.

Last time I was at a Cale Soc function I accidentally bit a guy in the face during a particularly aggressive strip the willow (!). No such mishaps this time, just a lot of steam released and a dapper Malawian chef hamming up the presentation of the haggis like you wouldn't believe.

Hurray for Burns, pals, drinking, dancing and here's to learning to just letting it be.

F x

January Blues

It's been a while - I've been suffering from the Jan Blues and I didn't want to commit to anything publicly that I might regret. There is a strong gloom hanging over Malawi at the moment: January Blues, it turns out, are not just caused by the cold weather.

Here's what's going on:

- The rains have not arrived properly so everyone is worried about the crop. Increasing risk of famine. This is known as the 'hungry season', I knew it was coming, but I'm still not tough enough to be unaffected by being so close. A woman came down to the hut begging for food. I don't think she will be the last. Constant Guilt.

- It is really really hot. 3 showers a day, very sleepy. Even A is wishing for a break in the weather, a good bit of rain or cloud cover.

- A LOT of people have malaria.

- I itch like hell from the mozzie bites, stood on a centipede in the shower (they 'pop' BTW) and a geko got squished in the door. Blurgh.

- Work has been extraordinarily tough since we got back too.

On the plus side, petrol situation has improved, I'm enjoying French again and we now have a family of mongooses in the garden (am ignoring the fact this means we have enough snakes to support a family of mongooses).

We'll shake this off, re-group and give it a final blast. But first we're going to retreat into the hut, watch DVDs and munch the last of the mangoes.

F x

Before and during rains

Jennie says I should post more pictures....

"1,2,3 Viva Malawi!"

Malawi have beaten Algeria 3-0 in their opening match in the Africa Cup of Nations. Everyone is well chuffed. Malawi is the lowest ranked team in the tournament. The match finished about rush hour on Monday and the roads went mental. People were driving around tooting their horns and holding two fingers out their window, then 3, then everyone had a massive party!

Workmen stopped filling in the potholes and did a little dance in the street, kids were rolling around in the dust and I even saw one guy eating a mango and dancing in his pants on the big roundabout near Limbe!

Go on the flames!

Good to have the mood picked up for a day or two. Rains haven't arrived properly and people are worried. Some are starting to pull up the corn in the hope the rains will come and they will be able to start again. Big trouble coming, or, as Phiri would say, 'mavuto quambiri'.

I heard that China fired some chemicals into the sky and made it snow - could we get that for rain here?

F x

"You are back from America - Why?"

OK so we probably need to get an atlas and show Phiri where Scotland is, but the point remains - as a Malawian he wonders why we westerners would come to Malawi.

Good question. As is why we are planning to return to the UK - a country so categorically failing to achieve its potential our friends have the "where in the world should we live and work?" conversation almost as often as the "is Tiger Woods wholly to blame?" "isn't is cute that our parents believe in pensions and insurance?" and, for the Londoners at least, "how can we afford private schooling?" ones.

Yup, we and our friends are oh so middle class and, since we've been away, seem to have made the shift from 20 somethings to 30 somethings (slightly prematurely in my case I would add!). You all probably know my views on the location location debate, but the first 24 hours back in Malawi give me some pretty clear answers to Phiri's enquiry:

- It is better to be a few degrees too hot than many degrees too cold (a slightly sticky 27 at the moment but nothing a fan doesn't fix);
- there is a sort of calm that comes from not having a TV, limited access to the internet and a choice between DVD or Kutche Kutche at local for evening's entertainment; and
- waking up to air that smells like a scout hut set inside Glasgow's Botantical Gardens (or that butterfly farm in Aviemore) and sounds of gorbling birds and rippeting frogs really does remove any fear that life may be passing you by!

Of course those all have to be balanced against the many downsides which I've often moaned about and still abound. But, happy to be back and even more delighted that, unlike Phiri, we can choose to return.

F x

Ps - In a nod to remaining 5 months of 20 somethingness I spent a lot of time listening to Radio 1 at home and would say: "'mon the Rage!". Excellent, I may never listen to my 2 copies again but reckon a bit of fire in the belly is exactly what we need right now!