One Tuesday morning the Parkers were leaving the hut for the day's outing. It being bin and ironing day Fiona was hunting high and low for Phiri to leave him his day's instructions and tell him that there was some lunch for him waiting in the hut. Unable to find Phiri, Fiona resorted to taking the bin out herself whilst the other Parkers waited in the car, but soon found Phiri up by the bin - chillaxing with his mates.
Fiona strode confidentially over to impart the necessary instructions and saw Phiri walking towards her with an unusually large grin on his face and a massive rabbit in his hands. “Ah”, thought Fiona, “Phiri's mates have caught a rabbit & he is coming to show me”.
Nope, Phiri (or his mates, or their dogs, never worked out which) had caught an utterly enormous rat! The rat was the biggest thing anyone had ever seen, ever. It was honestly about a meter long (excluding tail) and actually looked quite shiny and healthy, all pink on the underside with big sticky out yellow teeth.
“Look Madam look, big rat, oh yes, big one” laughed Phiri as he strode forward waving the rat in Fiona's face. “Arrrghhhhh!!!” shouted Fiona,”blurghhh, keep it away, what are you doing with it?” “Eat it, good eating, big rat” replied Phiri as he waved the rat in the car window to show the other Parkers, “excellent big rat!”. “Arghh, Phiri, keep it away from me! Gross. There is better lunch for you down at the hut....and please do the ironing today”, she spluttered, vainly trying to regain some control of the situation.
Phiri was most delighted to have been able to freak out the 'young madam' in front of his mates and would have got a tasty meal out of the ex-rodent. I just hope he didn't use my new pots to cook the flippn' thing!
F x
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