"Ah, it's the Parkers"

OK, so I've made a mistake. Two of the banks are both branded in blue and white and, at the fantastically named 'Ginnery Corner', are right next to each other. One of them, Standard Bank, has an excellent ATM that accepts Visa and Maestro, the other one, Ecobank, doesn't. But the staff are v friendly and being confused about which one I was in, I've opened an account for Andrew at the non card, non VISA, non ATM one. (Ecobank also happens to be a sub of Citigroup – please let me know if things start looking really rocky for it over there).

By the time I realised the mistake I'd already got the millions forms signed in triplicate, had arranged for references from two Malawian bank account holders and had taken Andrew down to the dude with the camera, shack, printer & amusingly spelt sign outside Immigration HQ to get passport photos taken. On the promise of ATMs 'in a week' we've pressed on.

There are various pros and cons of banking with a new bank – First, no ATMs is not a problem because they seem not to have any other customers and so there are no queues inside the bank. Second, the lack of customers also means that they do not need our account number to check whether funds received, they just know that that things haven't changed and say they will call us when the money arrives. Third, we've been in so many times they all recognise us and we're greeted with 'Ah, its the Parkers!'.

This is like having our own personal bank, which was fun but utterly useless whilst we couldn't get any money from them. Now that we have managed to get our hands on wads of grubby Kwatcha we're delighted and I will look on with scorn at anyone who considers trying to muscle in our our car parking spot or personal teller! Now, if I can just convince Halifax that I'm bona fide & get them to unlock my UK internet banking we'll really be getting there!

F x